
His razor-sharp eyes continued staring at the cage holding the chickens. There were 5 of them inside, cramped together in a small place, meant for just one.
The naturally conical shaped beard flowed freely on his bronze skinned face, his lips hidden by overgrown moustache and beard hairs, holding a bidi not yet flamed, the squinted eyes and sharp nose combining together to announce his visibly pronounced hilly features. The small wrinkles peeped out from the visible part of his face still uncovered by facial hairs.
A black coat well past its prime, gifted by one of his clients who summited with him 5 years back, adorned his lean body while he squatted on the ground a few feet above the road which people frequented to reach the market, their faint noise as they run down, indistinctly audible.
His fingers squirmed inside the coats front pocket to search for the matchbox as bidi glided from the left to the right inside his mouth. Fingers finally became still and warped while carrying the light to blow the stick waiting to turn to ashes, still held in his closed mouth.
Tilting himself a little without removing the bidi, he used both his hands to protect the flame and once lit up, his hands and mouth both met midway as he bent himself, to put to flame the bidi, still waiting on his tiring lips.
The first burst of smoke found its way out from his mouth, nose, ears and even eyes which suddenly turned red, it wasn’t only tobacco inside, his eyes closed on their own, for a while after the first puff.
‘Give me the one sitting quiet’ he asked the owner, gesturing with his index finger least he mix it up with some other one.
‘That would be 500’, the owner replied.
Clenching the beedi between his teeth, he put his hands in the pockets again, this time retrieving the currency, his eyes still staring at the chicken held with his legs as it continued crying loudly.
‘Is it for today’ the owner asked, the chicken trying in vain to break from the deadly grip of his hands.
He bobbed his head without uttering a word, got up and took hold of the other leg while slipping the Rs 500 note in his other hand.
‘It is for tomorrow’ he whispered, exhaling a large cloud of smoke, closing the eyes for a moment and running away, his shoulders tilted slightly forward on their own as he ran. The small unburnt leftover of the bidi, still lay where he was sitting, chickens suddenly turned silent as the owner looked around, waiting for another customer.
There’s more references to bidi smoking than there is the chicken, which makes for an intriguing character 👍
I’m not quite sure of the ending. Maybe due to my lack of the cultural understandings but what does it mean “for tomorrow” and why did he have to run away?
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Hope u know what a bidi is. I can understand your confusion. I was describing a typical but exciting evening in the hills for an elderly villager. It wasnt a story per se. I think you found it difficult to connect with it, will have to pull it together a little more tightly next time. Thankyou for reading and sharing your thoughts, it really helps…
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Yes I’m embarrassed to say but I had to Google what bidi was 🤦♀️😬
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ohhh…really 🙂 i thinki shud hav explained what bidi is as well. You don’t have to feel embarrassed i think, its ok to know some of these colloquial things… 🙂
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No no. You said that the man smoked it, so that’s enough. No need to define everything else it might ruin the story! A Western reader’s ignorance is not your problem to deal with 🙄
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ohh..thank you for the understanding…:-), u made the effort to google it in itself was a extremely thoughtful thing to do… thanks… 🙂
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The ending, I am guessing it in two ways, the smoke engulfed both of them and suddenly, zap! The bearded guy ran away. The smoke instantly making everything fall back into normalcy as if nothing happened. Or…maybe, no idea. care to explain? 😄🤗
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ohhh wow, u got anamzing ideas for an awesome ending….unfortunately for me it ended just there…it was just one evening, he’s probably got a feast at home, cuz he became a grandparent or he is got too much money to spend on an entire chicken, or he was craving eating a chicken, can be anything. Ur idea though can give an entirely new dimension to this write-up…psychic and mysterious….thankyou so much for ur feedback and amazing thought… 🙂
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Well, well, perhaps my interpretation didn’t go with the writer, but thanks for the compliment anyway. 😅👍
Welcome!
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I wasn’t keen to close the story loop, trust me, your idea of vanishing with the smoke is awesome perhaps, i would use it elsewhere…. 🙂
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सामने दिख रहा था सब,वो बीड़ी सुलगाना दोनों हाथों से आग को बुझने से बचाना,लगा बस वही कहीं खड़े मुझे सब दिख रहा है,सीधा साधा संक्षिप्त फिर भी सशक्त विवरण ,पहाड़ों की याद सा 💕👌
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hey, thank you so much…..I saw such a man during the trek….not an exact copy but similar!!! thank you for your kind words… 🙂
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Yes I know पहाड़ो में बीड़ी सुलगती रहती है किसी मोड़ किसी दुकान किसी रास्ते किनारे ,☺️
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Thats true…maza aata hai dekhne mein… 🙂
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I just love how vividly and carefully you describe your characters and their actions.
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hey, thank you so much, i hope u liked the old man!! 🙂
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A well written story but I didn’t get the end….why did he run away? What does he mean by “It is for tomorrow”?
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it wasn’t a story really, just description of a typical evening for a shopkeeper selling chicken and an old man enjoying his bidi and preparing for a feats the next day!! :-), a personal experience…
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Oh okay!
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Well written 👏
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hey, thank you for liking it Astha and sharing your thoughts…. 🙂
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My pleasure 🙂🙂🌻
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